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Finding lasting love is not as easy as many people think. For one, it takes a lot for men and women to overcome the fear of commitment. If a relationship is initiated, the uncertainty about where it will lead often hangs around. And that, of course, is one of the reasons why it may end up hitting a brick wall. This reality obtains for those who are dating within proximity. It becomes even more glaring for international dating.
Do not get it twisted. A lot of people are in long distance relationships. And, they might not even have met physically. Technologies have enabled seamless communication across the world by the introduction of online chat. Someone in the United States might just be closely in touch with another person in Australia as though they were next-door neighbors. As such, dating someone from another country looks quite simple seemingly. However, the truth is that nothing can ever compare to a physical hang out with a date. Not even the highest resolution of Skype or WhatsApp Chat!
For this reason, many people have described a long-distance relationship as a “no-no”, as it seems to make it hard for an individual to commit to it fully. There is always a suspicion that is encapsulated by this rhetorical expression: Once the phone is off, who knows what my date could be up to? But then, does that mean that long-distance is impossible? Before we try to say a “yes”, “no” or “not really”, let us take a look at some of the myths surrounding long-distance international dating, especially one between two countries.
The myths surrounding long-distance international dating are many. But, we have pruned them down to three, given that the objective of this piece is to encourage you to just do it rather than remain cynical. Let's have a look at them.
Now, when we speak of culture here, we do not mean it the exact way as sociologists would. Let's be honest. There is bound to be a culture clash between an American on a date with a Russian, who didn't grow up with an Idea of the American pop culture. Either of the two individuals involved may treat the other like some sort of fetish, trying too hard to hide their prejudices on each other's geographical and cultural background.
Another instance is when you hear someone is from a particular country, you immediately feign your admiration about certain stereotypes. Yes, there are bound to be cultural differences. That does not erase the fact that the world has shrunk a lot more than the global village people envisioned twenty years ago. Cultural differences do exist. But when it comes to dating, this is a mere myth. Social media has made it so much that we interact with people from other countries daily. This creates a huge opportunity for the steady growth of cross-country relationships.
It is normal for every relationship to have shades of trust issues. Even couples that live with each other face this challenge. As such, people tend to think that a long-distance relationship such as one between two persons who are residents of two different countries will be full of lies and deception.
This is a myth because many reasons contribute to some people's lack of trust in others. It could be unpleasant childhood experiences, previous heartbreaks or disappointments, or fear or anxiety. It could even be something as simple as uncertainty about what the future holds for the relationship. The point here is crystal clear: Trust issues exist in long-distance relationships as much as those between individuals within proximity.
On the surface, the idea of a relationship with someone from another country seems ominous of frequent loneliness. Worse still, most people shy away from it because they assume that after the frequent fits of loneliness comes a gradual drifting apart of both parties. News flash: Technology has proven that these are nothing but myths. No no-physical or long-distance relationship is destined for these mythical eventualities if the good aspects of technology are put to good use. You can be in Boston for half a year and keep in touch with your “better half” in Brazil hour-by-hour with elementary ease.
It makes everything become quite easy when you're dating someone from another country!
Communication: One of the easiest ways to engender a long-distance relationship is to strengthen communication. This can be achieved by spending time with each other daily. By doing this you do not only get to learn more about each other. You are also likely to have fewer trust issues.
Resolve quarrels as they come: There is no way you can date without having quarrels with each other. It is a natural thing in relationships. When such happens, you must have it in mind to squash it as soon as possible. With healthy communication, your chances of achieving this will always remain high. To what end? Well, your bond will grow stronger and stronger as time flies.
Periodic visits and vacations together: This is very crucial. To have a lasting relationship or date, you must plan to see each other at least once with a specific period. Depending on how many resources you have, you can make it quarterly, biannually, or annually. You must stick to whatever you agree. Building up the momentum to when you see is key. More importantly, you need to make every time you are physical with each other worth it. After you must have departed, you can make the memories live with you for months.
There is a lot to expect from dating someone from another country. It will be strange at first. But, your decision to make it will lessen the effects of the negative expectations. If you are still not sure, do endeavor to try the few nuggets that we have offered in this piece. You will find them to be foolproof!
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